Red vs. Blue: New Year's Eve Special
*The Reds are coming up with their Resolutions*
Sarge: Okay let's review: Grif resolves to quit drinking, smoking, and over-eating.
Grif: **** that; I'm no quitter!
Sarge: Also to die. Simmons will resolve on controlling his anger.
Simmons: I DON'T HAVE A GOD-DAMN ANGER CONTROL ISSUE!!!
Sarge: And Donut will resolve to not impersonate that cartoon skunk, Pepe le Pew, during staff meetings.
Donut: (In French accent) Oui, oui; my precious flower...
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*The Blues are also coming up with their Resolutions*
Church: Okay guys, we gotta come up with some really great resolutions. I believe in you guys, you're all smart, and creative, and you have lots of different ideas. In fact, I think that this is the best team ever.
*Tucker, Tex and Caboose are there too, and Caboose is facing backwards*
Caboose: Where is Church? I can hear him, but I can't see him.
Church: I know you guys can do it.
Caboose: I think I am invisible.
Tucker: Thanks man. Hey, wait a minute, what's your New Year's resolution?
Church: I have resolved to do a much better job, motivating all of you retards. In fact I'll tell you what if you can't come up with things that you need to change about yourself, I have compiled a list of areas that each of you can improve in. For some of you it's very long.
Tucker: I'm gonna show more respect to women. Chicks totally fall for all that sincerity crap.
Tex: I guess if I have to have a New Year's resolution, maybe I can try settling my differences with people, without resorting to violence.
Tucker: That's a great idea. You should try settling them by resorting to sex.
Tex: I was thinking diplomacy.
Tucker: Tex, it's "sex and violence." Who ever heard of "diplomacy and violence?" Go for the sex. I do.
Church: Tucker.
Tucker: What? We still have a few more hours before the contest starts.
Tex: We do? Good.
*Tex punches Tucker in the arm so hard that he falls over and bleeds*
Tucker: Ow, son of a- woman, you just lost all my respect.
Church: Well, so much for both of those ideas. Hey Caboose, what's your resolution?
Caboose: I don't think we should be part of a revolution. I love my country, and I think we should support our troops!
Tucker: Caboose, we are our troops.
Church: Hugggh, dear God. I hope this year isn't as long as last year.
