Law #37: It is hereby declared that all armed military forces must include at least one of each of the following:
- A bear cavalry squadron.
- A battalion of bipedal armored tanks.
- A squadron of special forces dolphin riders.
- A bomb disposal turtle unit.
- A sniper with a liberal arts degree, and an acquired taste for classical music.
- A heavily armored super multiple-weaponry battle tank, with a horribly nonthreatening name such as "Pipsqueak", "Fluffy" or "Snuggles".
- A professional, unbiased diplomatic individual with a solid belief in peace. They must also have an understanding of the human condition, and thus the flaws that make us who we are. They must also be a clown, and all diplomatic meetings will be resolved with a fight to the death with balloon swords.
Failure to comply will result in all offenders being forced to watch repeated screenings of Manos: the Hands of Fate, Monster a-Go Go, and the Jonas Brothers movie. Oh, and I'll probably throw some Biodome in there... just for kicks.