Funniest Quotes You've Heard

Spartanguy88 · **Reply #560 on:** July 06, 2012, 12:40:25 PM

DBZA

Nappa: Look Vegeta, more bald people. There's the small one, the two tall ones, and- *Sees Chaotzu* VEGETA, LOOK! A POKEMON!!!!!!!!!

Chaotzu: I'm not a Pokemon. I'm Chaotzu. Chaotzu!

Nappa: You hear that Vegeta? It's a Chaotzu. I'm gonna catch it! *Pulls out PokeBall*

Chaotzu: I told you, I'm not a Poke-*PokeBall hits him in the head* OW!

Nappa: Aw, it didn't work Vegeta!

Vegeta: That's because you have to damage it first.

Nappa: Oh, right. Let's see if I can get it critical...

Chaotzu: :blink:

MrDrake · **Reply #561 on:** July 11, 2012, 07:24:18 PM

Marceline's Dad: *to Gunther* What? NO, you can't have my soul, I don't evenó ...Look, just get in here. *tries to suck his soul and Gunter slaps him* Fine, keep your crummy soul *kicks the penguin away*
Ice King: *catches Gunther* Gunther! Who told you you could fly!?
- Adventure Time

Spartanguy88 · **Reply #562 on:** July 25, 2012, 05:33:59 PM

Toy Story

Woody: Buzz! Hey, Buzz are you okay?

Buzz: GONE! (Starts slurring words) It's all gone. All gone. Bye bye. Woo! See ya!

Woody: What happened to you?

Buzz: One minute you're defending the whole galaxy... when SUDDENLY you find yourself sucking down derjing with... (Whispers) Marie Antoinette and her little sister. (Camera focuses on two headless toys, who wave back at them).

Woody: ...I think you had enough tea for today. Let's get you out of here Buz-

Buzz: DON'T YOU GET IT?!?! YOU SEE THE HAT?!?! I AM MRS... NESBIT!!! (Laughs crazily)

Woody: Snap out of it Buzz! (Slaps Buzz with his own dismembered limb)

Buzz: I uh, you're right I'm sorry. I'm just a little depressed, that's all. I can get through this... (Becomes hysterical) OH I'M A SHAM!!!!

Woody: Shhh!! Buzz!!

Buzz: Look at me! I can't even fly out of a window! The hat looked good. Tell me the hat looked good... the apron is a bit much...

Woody: Out the window... Buzz you're a genious! (Starts dragging Buzz along) C'mon, this way!

Buzz: Years of academy training WASTED!

*I LOVE THAT SCENE SO MUCH*

EggStealerGirl · **Reply #563 on:** July 26, 2012, 12:29:13 AM

Dark Heart: "Time for a game of disappearing bears."

Waffle: "Spleeeee!"

Spartanguy88 · **Reply #564 on:** July 26, 2012, 11:48:46 AM

Red vs. Blue

Caboose: Last time I got shot, I got a Purple Heart. I hope this time I get a Purple Lung. You see, eventually I will be able to build an entire purple person... and we will be best friends.

Tucker: Maybe you should ask for a Purple Brain.

Caboose: You're just jealous that you didn't think of it first!

Ptyra · **Reply #565 on:** September 13, 2012, 11:35:22 AM

From Fish Hooks

Mr. Baldwin: Milo, you're late. Again!
Milo: Mr. Baldwin, you will never give what happened this time!
Mr. Baldwin: You were swallowed by an...
Milo: I was swallowed by an eel! So, I'm in the bathroom, just eating a sandwich, when All of a sudden, I'm like "What happened to my fork?" I look down, and...
Mr. Baldwin: And nothing! It can't be about you all the time, Milo! You think you got problems? Look at me! I'm pregnant!
*The entire class gasps, except Clamantha, who laughs*
Mr. Baldwin: You probably didn't know that male seahorses could get pregnant! Well, neither did I. But life happens!
Seriously, how did he not know he could get pregnant?!

Oscar: Bea, if this is the end, there's something I gotta tell you.
Bea: What is it, Oscar?
Oscar: I wanted to tell you that... I'm a plumber!
Bea: Excuse me?
Oscar: You're a princess, ugh, It's like we're both in this giant video game. And the plumber's trying to get to the princess. But there's always this giant monkey in the way that keeps throwing barrels! And all he's wearing is a tank-top! No pants!
Bea: What are you talking about?
Oscar: I don't know.
Original Donkey Kong reference ftw. You know the creators were from the 80's when that happens.

Clamantha: This song is dedicated to the secret love of my life. *Starts singing* HIS NAME IS OSCAR! HE LOOKS LIKE BROCCOLI! OSCAR, OSCAR, THAT RHYMES WITH "BOBOSCAR"! ONE DAY HE'LL MARRY ME!
I have new respect for Ashley Tisdale because of how she voiced that crazy clam

. Sounds like how I'd make fun of a network censor

Spartanguy88 · **Reply #566 on:** September 17, 2012, 01:10:50 PM

Borderlands 2

Handsome Jack: People of Pandora. This is Handsome Jack; your hero. We all know that ever since I took over your arm-pit of a planet, Pandora has been at peace. Until these pathetic Vault Hunters showed up that is...

Ptyra · **Reply #567 on:** September 21, 2012, 02:41:28 PM

Another from Fish Hooks

Mr. Baldwin: Listen up, you little bags of shhh---sugar!

Okay...HOW did THAT pass

!? You just KNOW what he was trying to say!

Spartanguy88 · **Reply #568 on:** September 26, 2012, 06:15:29 PM

*The Simpsons*

-Homer walks up to Hank Scorpio with a mug of coffee-

Homer: You got any sugar?

Hank: Sure. *Digs into pockets and pulls out a hand full of sugar. Gives it to Homer* Sorry, it's not in packages. Want some cream too?

Homer: :blink: ...Uh no.

Belmont2500 · **Reply #569 on:** September 26, 2012, 06:42:04 PM

Kung Fu Panda II:

*After the council refuses Shen's command to leave Gongman City*

Lord Shen: *laughs* I'm so glad you feel that way, otherwise I'd have dragged that here for nothing. *the peacock points at a large box being hauled by wolves.*

Master Ox: What's in the box, Shen?

Lord Shen: Want to see? Its a gift. Oh, its your parting gift, in that it will part you. Part of you here, part of you there and part of you waaaay over there, staining the walls!

^This is the only time I know where a villian could be so haliarious yet so damn terrifying at the same time.

Ptyra · **Reply #570 on:** September 26, 2012, 06:43:52 PM

Oh, Lord Shen, you ~~sexy~~ beastly thing you!

Belmont2500 · **Reply #571 on:** September 26, 2012, 06:47:07 PM

Quote from: Ptyra,Sep 26 2012 on 05:43 PM

Oh, Lord Shen, you ~~sexy~~ beastly thing you!

Can't blame you there. Shen was the best character in the film in my opinion.

Another line from the same film:

Po: Tell those musicians to start playing some action music, because its on!

EggStealerGirl · **Reply #572 on:** September 26, 2012, 08:44:09 PM

Alfonso: I want to eat a kid's meal soooo bad, it'sa me!

Hopper: Don't you know that kids' meals are for kids?! It's right there in the name, for Pete's sake, slushie! Besides, I've heard eating kids' meals stunts your growth! That must be why you're so short!

Alfonso: But... I'm short 'cause I'm still a kid... And when you were a kid, you must've eaten kids' meals, right, Hopper?

Hopper: Back in my day, we didn't have kids' meals! In fact, back when I was a kid... We didn't have pacifiers either, so we used squids! Not as fancy, but it did the job just fine! And we didn't have any of these multicolored snacks that kids eat nowadays. Instead, we mostly snacked on lima beans and Brussels sprouts, slushie. And if we were extra good, we might get a piece of licorice as a treat!

Alfonso: Are you serious, it'sa me?! So, I guess that means... You've never eaten a kid's meal?

Hopper: Never! And proud of it, slushie!

Alfonso: Well, I guess you don't like the little plastic robots that come with kids' meals either, huh, Hopper?

Hopper: What?! Slushie?! Kids' meals come with little robots?! But no one likes little robots more than I do.

Spartanguy88 · **Reply #573 on:** September 27, 2012, 02:51:57 PM

Dragonball Z Abridged: Revenge of Cooler

"Sun, you grow my food. You kill my enemies. You're totally worth the skin cancer."
-Goku-

pokeplayer984 · **Reply #574 on:** October 02, 2012, 11:42:35 AM

Okay, seriously, try not to laugh at this.

chuggaconroy - Pokemon Emerald: Episode 3

Objective: Looking for a rare Pokemon.

After finding it...

Quote

For the love of Princess Eliza's non-existent pantyhose!

Seriously, where does he come up with this stuff?

The Chronicler · **Reply #575 on:** October 14, 2012, 05:52:36 PM

This one's from last week's new episode of Mythbusters:

Jamie: Wait, you made a movie about the Titanic?
James Cameron: Yes.
Jamie: Why would you do that? Don't we already know how it ends?
*Adam facepalms*
James Cameron: He doesn't get out much, does he?
Adam: No, he doesn't.

Edit: Another Mythbusters quote, though you'll see it only online:

Tory: *starts inflating a balloon* Now, normally on this show, we blow things up with C4 and black powder, but on this episode, we're blowing things up with air! .................. That's alright............ Oh my god, this thingó The suspense is killing me! ...... Anybody got a pin? ...... You know, normally on this show, we blow things up with C4 and black powder, but on today's episode, we're blowing things up with air! ...... My heart's racing. The suspense is killing me! ...... Holy crap, this thing is huge! ...... Is this thing ever gonna pop!? ............ Anybody wanna throw a pin at it? ...... You know, on today's episode, we're blowing things up with air! ...... *the balloon finally bursts* Wah-ha-haó Ow! That hurt! Medic.

Spartanguy88 · **Reply #576 on:** October 25, 2012, 12:39:56 PM

Borderlands 2
-Handsome Jack and his "Diamond Pony"

1:
"Hey! How-oh, these pretzels suck... So, how's your day been buddy? We haven't really talked much since I've, you know, left you for dead. Hey, you think you'll freeze to death out there? Nah, probably not. The bandits will get you first. My day? It's been pretty good. I just bought a pony made of diamonds; because I'M RICH. So you know, that's cool. Kay bye!"

2:
"I'm rackin' my brain for a name for that diamond pony I bought. I was gonna call it 'Piss-for-Brains' in honor of you. But that just feels immature. Maybe... 'Butt Stallion'? Nah that's even worse. I'll tell you what; I'll give it some more thought."

3:
"I should probably clarify, the diamond horse I've been telling you about; it's not a sculpture or anything. It's actually a living horse that happens to be made of- actually I'll just go get her. BUTT STALLION! COME HERE GIRL! Say hello!" *"Butt Stallion neighs.*
"Butt Stallion says hello."

The Chronicler · **Reply #577 on:** December 14, 2012, 08:48:17 PM

I just remembered another one from Mythbusters. This one is from the Stone Cannonball myth.

(Tory is standing next to a model castle he built)
Tory (roleplaying an attacker and a defender of said castle). *attacker* Lower the drawbridge! *defender* No! We will never surrender! *attacker* Then we will attack! *defender* Don't worry. They are shooting rock cannonballs. I am not scared.

EDIT: just remembered another one from the same episode...

(Tory has finished his granite cannonball and placed it on a chunk of granite.)
Tory: *in an Italian accent* I like-a to call this piece, "Ball on the Brick."

Spartanguy88 · **Reply #578 on:** December 28, 2012, 05:12:10 PM

Dragonball Z Abridged

Nail: Have you ever considered getting a house?

Piccolo: Great idea. Let me get my sum of money that I don't have.

Nail: Have you ever considered getting a job?

Piccolo: I'm a green slug-man. No amount of affirmative action will ever get me a job.

Belmont2500 · **Reply #579 on:** February 03, 2013, 02:15:21 AM

From Cloud8745's Silent Hill 2 walkthrough:

"James."

"Hello."

"James."

"I said Hello."

"James."

"What the f*** do you want!"