Funniest Quotes You've Heard

Spartanguy88 · **Reply #520 on:** March 04, 2012, 03:31:21 PM

DRAGONBALL Z ABRIDGED

Dr. Briefs: Goku!

Goku: Hi Dr. Briefs.

Dr. Briefs: Goku what have you done?! You've blasted off into space! You're incredibly luck I've already set the coordinates for Namek, but you- (Notices that Goku is holding a muffin) you... where did you get that muffin?

Goku: Muffin button.

Dr. Briefs: But I never installed a muffin button.

Goku: Then where did I get this muffin?

Dr. Briefs: Listen very close Goku; whatever you do, don't mess with the gravity controls. It goes up to 100 times Earth's normal gravity.

Goku: So what you're saying is... if I turn up the gravity... then I can get stronger!

Dr: Briefs: No! What I'm saying is it could crush your bones! The detrimental effects could be catastrophic; you may never be able to walk again!

Goku: Bored now. Gotta train. Bye bye!

Dr. Briefs: GOKU WAIT-!
(Goku cuts off transmission)

Goku: ...I like his mustache.

MrDrake · **Reply #521 on:** March 04, 2012, 05:39:25 PM

Fred: Quick, into the abandoned factory, we'll be safe around all the dangerous machinery!
- Scooby-Doo: Mystery Incorporated.

Spartanguy88 · **Reply #522 on:** March 07, 2012, 06:11:29 PM

Dragonball Z Abridged

Krillin: Alright, Gohan, I need to get you to Guru's.

Gohan: Uh, why?

Krillin: So the old man can touch you and pull things out of you that you never knew you had! (He really means the Guru can unlock a warrior's hidden strength, making him stronger)

Gohan: :blink: I need an adult.

Krillin: I AM an adult.

Vegeta's Old Spice Moment
Vegeta's Old Spice Moment

MrDrake · **Reply #523 on:** March 08, 2012, 11:55:05 PM

Raditz: So....nudity makes you stonger on this planet.....? *starts unzipping*
Goku: Uh no, we're wearing weighted clothing
Raditz: *quickly zips back up* Of course! Because that would be rediculous! *nervous laugh*

Nappa: *flies towards Gohan, Krillin and Piccolo, stops midflight* Vegeta.....I can fly.....
Vegeta: *nose bleed*
- DBZ Abridged

Spartanguy88 · **Reply #524 on:** March 15, 2012, 01:36:40 PM

DBZ Abridged:

Piccolo: Ugh, everything looks the god-damn same on this god-damn planet. *Notices Nail on the ground* Wait a minute... a body! SOCIAL ACTIVITY!!!!

MrDrake · **Reply #525 on:** March 17, 2012, 06:02:42 PM

Zim: WHY IS THERE BACON IN THE SOAP!?

Gir: I need tacos, I need tacos or I will explode.....that happens to me sometimes
- Invader ZIM

Spartanguy88 · **Reply #526 on:** March 18, 2012, 05:28:30 PM

DBZA

Vegeta: (Enraged that Gohan stole his Dragonball) I am here for it.

Krillin:(Nervous tone) For what?

Vegeta: Dragonball. I. Need. That Dragonball. Give it to me. One you took. I need my wish.

Krillin: Are... you okay?

Ghost Nappa: I think your rage broke Vegeta-

Vegeta: SHUT UP GHOST OF NAPPA!!!!!!

Krillin: Who was that?

Vegeta: I'M NOT CRAZY!!! YOU'RE CRAZY!!! ESPECIALLY you Nappa!

Ghost Nappa: Ey....

Krillin: Who are you talking to?

Vegeta: Dragonball. Hand. Now. Please.

Krillin: Um... I don't... really... have it.

*A pause, then Vegeta pops a blood vessel in his right eye*

Vegeta: No...

Krillin: What...? :blink:

Vegeta: No...!

Krillin: Uh...

Vegeta: (Slowly floats towards Krillin) No....

*He suddenly senses Gohan's power level*

Vegeta: How-wait- where am I? Why are you here? Where's Nappa?

Krillin: Didn't you kill him?

Vegeta: Yes, of course I did. He's dead. Forever.

MrDrake · **Reply #527 on:** March 18, 2012, 08:12:19 PM

Dib: That's just dumb
Zim: Dumb like a moose Dib! DUMB LIKE A MOOSE!

Zim: *to Tak* Despite his huge head, the Dib-monkey is quite stupid
Dib: My head's not big!

Dib: My head's not big!
Zim: I...didn't say anything about your head

Gaz: Are there any computer games here?
Computer: No
Gaz: *annoyed* Fine, I guess I'l help save the Earth then

Zim: Skoodge? I thought the Tallest killed you
Skoodge: Yeah, but I'm okay now
- Invader Zim

Spartanguy88 · **Reply #528 on:** March 25, 2012, 03:14:39 PM

Mass Effect 3:
(Tali getting drunk)

Tali: Shepard! Wanna drink? I'm toasting Miranda... I think.

Shepard: Uh, how are you getting drunk?

Tali: Very carefully... Turian brandy, triple filtered, then introduced into the suit with an "Emergency Induction Port."

Shepard: ...That's a straw Tali.
(Later on, if you romanced Tali in ME2)

Tali: I'm having a drink with my boyfriend... my HUMAN boyfriend. My father would have hated you!
---------------------------------
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

Pinkie Pie: We're not even sure Fluttershy is home right now. Uh, she might be off frolicking with some woodland creatures, uh, why don't you give us some time to track her down for ya?

Iron Will: Iron Will does have some grocery shopping to do. Iron Will will come back this afternoon.

Pinkie Pie: But that's only half a day. We need one full day at least.

Iron Will: Iron Will will delay for half a day and no longer!

Pinkie Pie: A full day!

Iron Will: Half day!

Pinkie Pie: Full day!

Iron Will: Half day!

Pinkie Pie: Half day!

Iron Will: Full day!

Pinkie Pie: We need half a day and no more!

Iron Will: Why you'll get a full day and no less!

Pinkie Pie: Okie dokie. See you tomorrow.

Iron Will: Wait, what?

Blitz · **Reply #529 on:** March 25, 2012, 05:32:49 PM

From The Emperor's New Groove

Kuzco: Don't tell me... we're about to go over a huge waterfall.

Pacha: Yup.

Kuzco: Sharp rocks at the bottom?

Pacha: Most likely.

Kuzco: Bring it on.

*Log gets shot down waterfall*

From a friend of mine on another forum site:

"In Soviet Russia, TV breaks you"

and

"In Soviet Russia, Ring collects you"

From another friend of mine on another forum site:

"In Communist Russia, fractals render you"

Naruto: I won't let you get away with your hastily thrown together evil plan! I'm going to use the power of the Ninja Scroll to beat you!

Mizuki: Wait, did you just summon a bunch of ninjas in one turn?

Naruto: Yeah, so?

Mizuki: That's against the Ninja Rules, isn't it?

Naruto: Screw the Ninja Rules, I have lung cancer!

From Naruto Abridged

LBTLover1 · **Reply #530 on:** March 25, 2012, 09:04:59 PM

From Dead Space:

*The man turns the camera to another man, named Stross.*

Doctor: Now....*The doctor examines Nolan's eye*....the eye is looking better today? Yes, don't you think?

Stross: It hurts. Still h-hurts.

Doctor: Yes. I'll schedule you for another session tomorrow.

Stross: No....no, no....I don't think I can take another session. I don't....

Doctor: *presses his holocheckboard* There....First thing tomorrow.

MrDrake · **Reply #531 on:** March 25, 2012, 10:48:18 PM

Phineas: Hey Ferb, we're flying towards that building that vaugley looks like your head

Phineas: *to Perry, about Dr. Doof* And you fight a pharmasist!? Why would you even do that!?

Dr. Doof: Amnesianator? I think I'd remember building something like that
- Phineas and Ferb: Across the 2nd Dimmension

Spartanguy88 · **Reply #532 on:** March 26, 2012, 12:13:38 PM

Dragonball Z Abridged

Nappa: Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his power level?

Vegeta: It's... 1006.

Nappa: Wha- really?

Vegeta: Yeah, now kick his ass Nappa!

Nappa: YAY!!!

*Nappa lunges at Goku, but Goku proceeds to beat up Nappa brutally*

Nappa: My arm doesn't bend that way. My arm doesn't bend that way. *CRACK* AAHHH NOW IT DOES!!!!

Vegeta: Wait, something's not right here... oh wait, NAPPA!

*Nappa lands on the ground next to Vegeta*

Nappa: WHAT?!?!

Vegeta: I had the scouter upside down. It's over 9000. *Breaks scouter* Rah.

-------------------------------
3rd Rock from the Sun
*Dick sees his dyed hair in the mirror*
Dick: Oh my God! I'M GORGEOUS!!!

MrDrake · **Reply #533 on:** March 27, 2012, 11:47:43 PM

Lilo: *on the phone to Cobra Bubbles, while Stitch and Jumba are fighting in the background* Oh good! My dog found the chainsaw!

Jumba: So, you want me to help you out, just like that? Just like that!?
Stitch: Ih
Jumba: Okay
Pleakly: You're going to help him out, just like that?
Jumba: He's very persuasive
- Lilo & Stitch

Adder · **Reply #534 on:** March 28, 2012, 09:36:27 AM

This one's from Flight of the Living Dead: Outbreak on a Plane

(80 year old woman [she has no teeth] turns into a zombie and bites Frank, he screams, but feels nothing and throws the zombie into the cargo hold)
[sarcastically nervous] She was teething me...

Spartanguy88 · **Reply #535 on:** March 28, 2012, 04:35:42 PM

DBZA

Krillin: Hey, don't I look like that one guy Vegeta landed with back on Earth? What was his name again? Hey Vegeta, what was that guy's name? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta...

*Vegeta then starts seeing Nappa's face on Krillin's body*

Nappa: ...Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta?

Vegeta: God-dammit Nappa.

Krillin: Oh right! Good 'ol "God-dammit Nappa."

The Chronicler · **Reply #536 on:** March 28, 2012, 07:15:15 PM

Here's some from last night's new episode of Top Gear (on the History Channel).

(Rutledge and Adam are learning how to drive in a professional truck race, but Adam is driving all over the place)
Driving Instructor:*over the radio* Adam, where the hell are you going?
Adam:*clearly lost* I have no idea.

(Rutledge is about to climb into his racing truck)
Adam: Look! It even has your name on it.
(Rutledge's last name is Wood, so that's what's on the truck)
Rutledge:*not amused* I've got Wood... I've got Wood.

Spartanguy88 · **Reply #537 on:** March 29, 2012, 01:25:03 PM

DBZA
*After Recoom kicks Krillin*

Gohan: Krillin!

Krillin: (Dazed) Hello Gohan! Have you done your homework? 'Cause if you don't, Chi-Chi will KICK my ass!

Gohan: Are you okay?

Krillin: Yeah, seems he threw my nervous system out of whack there. Can't quite feel the pain...there it is...aaaaaaaaaahhh.

MrDrake · **Reply #538 on:** April 08, 2012, 03:50:48 AM

Arthur: *around a campfire* This is lame....
Merlin: *smacks him* You're lame!
- Shrek the Third

Spartanguy88 · **Reply #539 on:** April 09, 2012, 02:32:03 PM

The Simpson:
*Homer and Bart are at the Krusty Burger getting grease. They both walk to the back room up to an employee at the deep fryers*

Employee: Can I help you sir?

Homer: *Leans in close* My GOD you're greasy...!

Employee: :blink: Uh... help...!