The Gang of Five
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Funniest Quotes You've Heard

f-22 "raptor" ace

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Here's one from Animaniacs

Pilgrim: "Give me the bird,'

Yakko: "We'd love to really but the Fox censors won't allow it,'


Cancerian Tiger

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"The Lion King"

Zazu: "Let me out!  Let me out!"

Timon: "Let me in!  Let me in!"

*Timon runs inside the cage*

Timon (begging): "Please don't eat me!"

Pumbaa: "Drop 'em!"

Banzai: "Hey, who's the pig?"

Pumbaa: "Are you talking to me?"

Timon: "Uh, oh.  They called him a pig."

Pumbaa: "Are you talking to ME?"

Timon: "Ya shouldn't have done that."

Pumbaa: "ARE YOU TALKING TO ME?!"

Timon: "Now they're in for it."

Pumbaa: "THEY CALLED ME MIIIIISTER PIIIIIG!  AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"


 :lol  :lol


Spartanguy88

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The Simpsons Movie

*Homer, dressed in a hotel door man uniform, approaches a guard*

Homer: Ten-hut! At ease! I'm General... Merriot Suites. And I have an urgent note from the President. *Hands note to guard* It says to release this town immidietly.

Guard: Why is it written on a leaf?

Homer: ...

*Homer punches guard in the face, knocking him out*


812558

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around the end of Kill Bill Vol.2

The Bride: You know, five years ago, if I had to make a list of impossible things that would never happen, you performing a coup de grace on me, by busting a cap in my crown, would have been right at the top of the list. But I'd be wrong, wouldn't I?

Bill: [slightly drunk] ... I'm sorry, was that a question? Of impossible things that could never happen, in this case, yes, you would have been wrong.

The Bride: Well?

Bill: When you didn't come back, I naturally assumed that Lisa Wong or somebody else had killed you. Oh, and for the record, letting someone think that someone they love is dead when they're not is quite cruel. I mourned you for three months. And in the third month of mourning you, I tracked you down. Now, I wasn't trying to track you down. I was trying to track down the f**king a**holes who I thought killed you. So, I find you. And what do I find? Not only are you not dead, you're getting married, to some f**king jerk, and you're pregnant. I... overreacted.
[long pause]

The Bride: You overreacted?


Spartanguy88

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The Simpsons

Bart: According to Creationism, there were no cavemen.

Homer: Good riddance. Their drawings sucked and they looked like hippies.

Lisa: Dad, you're not really reconsidering evolution; are you?

Homer: My mind is always open to new ideas... *looks down at dinner plater* Onions? In the peas? WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!?! *Throws plate away*


Nick22

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Caddyshack
 hey doll, want to earn 14 bucks the hard way? :lol:
Winner of these:


Runner up for these:




Cancerian Tiger

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"Home Alone 2"

Johnny: "I knew it was you.  I could smell ya gettin' off the elevator!"

Johnny (after he's blown someone away): "Merry Christmas you filthy animal!" *Fires more shots* "And a happy New Year!" *BANG!*

The scene where Kevin pranks the hotel staff with the film is priceless! :lol  :lol


Spartanguy88

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Kung Fu Panda

*Master Shifu has just walked in on Po, who has pratically destroyed the kitchen with kung fu*

Po: ...What?! I eat when I'm upset okay?!

Shifu: ...Oh no need to explain. I just thought you were Monkey. He always hides his almond cookies on the top shelf.

*He walks into the hallway and hears Po climbing the shelves. When he walks back in, he sees Po doing a perfect split on the top shelf and eating away at the cookies. Po finally notices Master Shifu*

Po: ...Don't tell Monkey.

Shifu: Look at you!

Po: Yeah I know: I disgust you...

Shifu: No I mean, how did you get up there?

Po: I- uh... I don't know. I was just getting a cookie.

Shifu: And yet you are ten feet off the ground... and have done a perfect split!

Po: What, this? Oh no. This was just an- *Shelves begin to give away* accident...

*Po falls to the floor*


Pangaea

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I've got plenty of potential submissions for this thread, but I'll start with this one from The Three Stooges short “Oily To Bed, Oily To Rise”:

The situation is that the stooges (Moe, Larry, and Curly) are trying to earn a meal by sawing wood for a farmer, but after inadvertently running the saw over Curly’s cast-iron head, the teeth are bent completely out of shape, leaving the stooges unable to cut anything until they have repaired the saw; a task which Moe assigns to Curly:

Moe: You’re gonna fix that saw, you half-brother to a weasel!
Curly: Listen, you! On behalf of the weasel, I resent that!
:lol :lol :lol



Pronounced "pan-JEE-uh". Spelled with three A's. Represented by a Lystrosaurus.


Pangaea

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A couple more Stooge quotes from that same short:

(The stooges are relaxedly cruising in a car that is headed towards the edge of a cliff:)

Curly: Hey, don’t look now, but I think we’re about to be killed!

(Moments later, after swerving to narrowly avoid going over the cliff:)

Moe (to Larry, the driver): Ya know, if I wasn’t so weak from hunger I’d bat your brains out if ya had brains!



Pronounced "pan-JEE-uh". Spelled with three A's. Represented by a Lystrosaurus.


Paradise Bird

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Master Chief :Halt!
Brute : Sorry we don't take MasterCard!


Spartanguy88

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The Simpsons

Homer: You like it Marge? All I need is a title. I was thinking something on the lines of "No TV and No Beer Make Homer-" something something...

Marge: Go crazy...?

Homer: Don't mind if I do! *Screams crazily*



Cancerian Tiger

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*We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story*

Woog (to Rex): "Do you want a hotdog?  I mean DO YOU WANT A HOT-DOG?"

*Rex sniffs, hotdog gets stuck in his nostril*

Woog: "Is it good?"

*Rex plucks hotdog from his nostril*

Woog: "He wants a hotdog.  How many is that today, Dweeb?"

Dweeb: "Two hundred and fifty!  And that's with everything!"


(Jeez, I can't barely handle two hotdogs.  The thought of 250 makes me sick :x!)

Another one...

Elsa: "We all have regrets, Rex."

Woog: "Tell me about it.  The things I've stepped on."

*Lifts foot, revealing squashed lizard, then hides his foot*

Woog (nervously): "Hee hee hee!"


Spartanguy88

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Ghostbusters

Ray: Venkman! Are you alright? What happened?

Venkman: He slimed me.

Ray: That's great, actual physical contact! Can you move?

Spengler (over radio): Come in Ray. What's going on up there?

Venkman: I feel so funky...

Ray: Spengler, I'm with Venkman; he got slimed!

Spengler: That's great Ray! Save some for me!


Caustizer

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Spartanguy88

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Family Guy

Peter: Quagmire, check it out. I took ten M-80s and stuck 'em all together. I call it "Peter Griffin's Bunker Bustin' Mega Ultra Super-

BOOM!!!!

Peter: AAHH! HOLY CRAP!!!!

*Everyone but Stewie screams*

Lois: Oh my God; you blew off all of your fingers!

Joe: What happened...? OH MY GOD!!!

Stewie: You know, no huge hurry, but I'm sorta out of juice. *Taps plastic cup* Bone dry.

 :lol  :lol


Spartanguy88

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Family Guy

Tom Tucker: How's the weather Ollie?

Ollie Williams: It's rainin' side-ways!

Tom Tucker: Sounds rough Ollie. Do you have an umbrella?

Ollie Williams: Had one!

Tom Tucker: Where is it?

Ollie Williams: Inside-out two miles away!

Tom Tucker: Is there anything we can do for you?

Ollie Williams: Bring me some soup!

Tom Tucker: What kind?

Ollie Williams: CHUNKY!!!!

Tom Tucker: Alright, we'll get on that.


jedi472

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Amaranthine

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Spongebob:

Patrick: Hey Spongebob, where's LEAVINGBinkibottom?

Spongebob: Where did you see that?

Patrick: We just passed the sign, "You are now in leaving Binki Bottom.

xD :lol